KOBA-TV Reviews Secret Agent Man

By Producer Michael Duggan

I really wanted to like this show. I really, REALLY wanted to like this show. Considering that the KOBA-TV staff worships the ground that MD walks on, as well as being fans Barry Sonnenfeld's Men In Black and Fantasy Island. Unfortunately, UPN had other plans.

For starters, SAM focused way too much on the lead agent, the inappropriately-named Monk. Monk certainly wasn't one! Judging by the teaser, which showed a scantily-clad blonde bimbo hanging on him like white on rice, we know which audience UPN was going for! Especially when Monk's ex, Prima, who works for a rival agency, shows up and wants to defect. Much action, gadgetry, and sexual innuendo follow. A LOT of sexual innuendo.

As for characterization, there wasn't much. Holliday (played by Dina Meyer from Starship Troopers - six degrees of E2!) looked like the beautiful-and-brainy stock chick character. Reference Agent Dana Scully, Captain Samantha Carter, etc. Davis, the "token black guy", was alternately in awe of Monk's sexual prowess and pissed off at his methods. Prima, the ex-girlfriend agent, was a cardboard cutout. As for Monk, well, Costas Mandylor definitely went to the David Duchovny/Dylan McDermott school of minimalist acting. Let's face it - he's a hunk with no brains. The villain, Vargas, acted like Ricky Martin's evil twin. He was certainly living La Vida Loca with a very big EMP gun. (By the way, the writers never explained that EMP stands for electro-magnetic pulse. It's something that happens during nuclear events. It wipes out all electronics in an area. So, why did the hospital monitors sound their alarms?? Duh..) And I'm not even gonna mention the horrible, hackneyed dialogue that sounded like it was straight out of every bad 60's spy movie you ever saw.

A little digging in the IMDB by our research department (John) shows a few telltale things about SAM.

1. We noticed that MD's name was NOT in the beginning credits, but was at the end. This may be due to him being brought in later.
2. There are a LOT of producers - more than the usual number on a TV show. Most of them have little or no experience with prime-time TV. Those that do have experience, have it in syndicated shows and cheesy TV movies.
3. The episode shown on Tuesday night was NOT the pilot episode. It was actually episode #7. One has to wonder if the pilot was that bad, or if UPN decided to air this episode to get the attention of the WWF Smackdown crowd.

Secret Agent Man is definitely a show in deep trouble. The fact that they have a ton of producers and had to bring in someone like MD to ride herd on them speaks volumes about the show. Oh, it's not entirely bad. The stop-action camera work on the fight scenes was an unexpected touch. Like the jittery repeating lines on Homicide, that a little fancy effect goes a LONG way. I hope they don't overdo it. The 1960's Man from UNCLE, Mission Impossible and Mod Squad style was copied pretty well. As usual, music by our favorite French composer David Bergeaud, was right on the money. It had kind of a techno style that really worked. Too bad it couldn't cover up the stilted dialogue!

Final analysis: Secret Agent Man has some possibilities to be a good show. There are, however, some glaring problems that will hopefully be fixed in later episodes. I give it 2 1/2 EMP guns out of five, and that's being generous. Is it worth missing Buffy over? I don't know. I'll probably tape it and watch Buffy in real-time. I just hope that MD can pull this show out of the toilet before it self destructs in five episodes.