In "The Patron Saint of Liars", Dana Delany plays Rose, a mixed-up Catholic
woman who realizes just a little too late that she doesn't love her husband.
After she's been married a year and carrying his baby. So, instead of going
to a therapist, or going to her priest for marraige counseling, she up
and runs out on him. She heads out to a home for unwed mothers in rural
Kentucky. There, after lying about her husband (really stupidly), she meets
up with Son (Clancy), who is the caretaker at the home. He's sweet, good
with his hands, dependable, and all of the pregnant girls are in love with
him. Well, who wouldn't be??? Especially with that nine-inch tool under
his belt? ;) Rose and Son hit it off right away, and pretty soon, they're
stealing glances over a hot stove. After a fellow "inmate" at the home
gives birth secretly to avoid giving her twin babies up for adoption, Rose
decides that she wants to keep her baby. She chases after the ambulance
that's carrying her friend to the hospital wearing nothing but her nightie.
In the movie's corniest moment, she wanders down the
road asking God for a sign as to what she's supposed to do. Along comes
Son, who has been looking for her. He takes her back to his cabin and proposes
marraige to her. She accepts, because she sees him as a perfect father
for her baby.
The movie follows Rose, Son, and their daughter, Cecilia, through the
next fifteen years. After Rose and Son inherit the mansion where the old
woman who founded the home lived, Rose decides to
stay in the cabin - leaving her husband and daughter, but still being
with them. Weird relationship, huh? I thought so!
Suddenly, the doo-doo hits the fan when Rose gets a letter from her first husband, who's managed to track her down after all these years. She does what she does best - disappear, leaving Son, Cecilia, and her friends to figure out the rest. The first husband shows up and they eventually figure out the truth. After about a week away, Rose gets another "sign" from God, and she returns home. Her daughter chews her out, but then forgives her, as does Son. Miracle of miracles - a dried-up hot spring starts to bubble out of the fountain, where it had been dormant since the 1930's.
I both liked and disliked this movie. Clancy was in full Danziger mode,
even down to the shaggy hair! The only thing missing was his "bad attitude".
I figure that he couldn't get away with that
for long, around a bunch of no-nonsense nuns and all. The scenes between
him and Cecilia were so much like scenes between Danziger and True that
we were quoting E2 lines! And, who could pass up that bare-chested shot
of him in bed with Rose? Slurrrrppp!
On the other hand, I really wanted to smack Rose upside the head
and tell her to get a clue. First of all - if she wasn't happy in her marriage,
who's to blame? Happiness is an inside job. Her first husband wasn't (to
the viewer's knowledge) a jerk, abusive, etc. Go to your priest for pastoral
counseling. See a marraige counselor. See a psychiatrist, for heaven's
sake! Don't just cut and run. That's the coward's way out - even if it
is into Clancy's arms. Then she proceeds to treat her second husband and
daughter like crap. This woman needs some SERIOUS therapy! Marriage isn't
supposed to be "happily ever after". It takes work and compromise.
Okay, off of my soapbox now.
Anyway, Clancy did a WONDERFUL job in this movie! Like I said, he reminded me of another mechanic that we all know and love. It was weird to see him and Dana Delany together, considering that the animated Superman had a Lex Luthor episode that very morning! I wonder if she ever called him "Lex"? ;) Dana Delany did a good job, once Rose "aged" to the present. She was a little unbelievable as the early 1980's Catholic girl in the beginning. The rest of the cast did a passable job, too. Unfortunately, I'm sure there was more to the book than what showed up in the screenplay.
In retrospect, KOBA-TV gives The Patron Saint of Liars four wooden
chairs out of five, for having a fine cast, but enough plot holes to drive
a TransRover through.