But, onto the review. Unlike Deep Impact, Armageddon is a more action-oriented special effects bonanza. An asteroid the size of Texas is found to be hurtling toward the Earth after some meteorites take out pieces of New York City, taking a bunch of stereotyped characters in their path. Several military and civilian science advisors come up with a plan to send a crew up to the 'roid, drill two holes in it, and put in some nuclear weapons. Here's where Bruce Willis and company come in. The government hires Willis to train the astronauts in drilling. That doesn't work, so they decide to train his motley drilling crew as astronauts. Much hilarity ensues.
Jessica plays Jennifer Watts (no relation to Terry O'Quinn's character on Millennium), a NASA shuttle pilot. She's really the only woman in this boy's club, and she's tougher than the rest of them. In her first scene, she explains weightlessness by telling one character that, "If I kick you in the nuts, you'll float away." Now THAT's the kind of attitude we've come to know and love from our girl Jess!
Once they're actually ON the asteroid, Jess doesn't get as much screen time as the boys. After all, our teenage-male primary audience isn't paying to see a WOMAN out there saving the day. So, Jess is back on the shuttle trying to get it to work, and to stay in contact with Mission Control. She does get some good, but too short, scenes with Michael Biehn from Mag7. Not to mention getting shoved aside by the sterotyped Russian cosmonaut who "fixes" the shuttle with a crowbar and brute force. Jess does a great job in what was a very limited role. Her character was the least stereotypical of any of the women characters, and probably could have been of either gender. Hopefully, being in the #1 movie of the summer will increase her visibility in Hollyweird. We can but hope.
Also nice to see were cameo roles by people who we don't see all that
often, like Keith David of Gargoyles as the General, Grace Zabriskie
of Twin Peaks as the astronomer's wife, etc. And of
course, we can't forget Bill Traetta, who did the suits! The special
effects, as expected, were eye-popping. Especially the super-shuttles.
However, Armageddon itself was a fun, loud, but predictable
movie. I lost count of how many times disasters were averted at the last
second. Not to mention the politically incorrect
views of African-Americans, fat people, women, Russians, et al. Liv
Tyler is a waste of celluloid. She looks good, but that's probably because
Daddy (Steve Tyler of Aerosmith) gave her some of his makeup. I could have
lived without the "animal cracker" scene. AND they probably
cut some of Jess' screen time to put that nonsense in. Sheesh!
Some of the best lines were:
"Talk about the wrong stuff!"
"I just wanted to feel the power between my legs."
"I'm a cowboy! Yippee-ai-kai-yay!"
and so on...
In all, I give Armageddon three meteorites out of five. It was pretty good, but won't be winning any writing awards anytime soon.
That's all. Armageddon outta here to go pick up Pennsylvania P. Koba...