On a warm summer evening, we were sitting round the campfire,
when a Grendler waddled up to us, through the perimeter gate.
And as we stared astonished, he waddled to our circle,
drooling grossly as he said, "I hope I'm not too late."
He said, "Folks I've spent my life watching people's campsites,
knowing where their goodies were, by the way they'd guard their
camp.
And I can see by looking, that you're almost out of foodstuffs.
For a taste of your stewpot there, some wisdom I'll impart."
So we handed him a bowlful. He gulped it in one swallow.
Offered him spirulina. He inhaled every bar.
And the night got strangely quiet, as he belched and started
talking,
"If you're gonna make it to the coast, you've got to
learn to steal like me."
(Chorus)
You've got to know when to snatch 'em, know where to stash
'em,
know when to slink away, and know when to run.
You never count your flatware when you're sneaking in the back
door.
There'll be time for counting flatware, when the stealin's done.
Every Grendler knows the secret to survival,
is knowing when to take the goods, and knowing when to trade.
See, you've got great containers, converters and lumalights, but,
you don't know squat 'bout trading, and that's why you'll get
burned.
(Chorus)
You've got to know where to grab 'it, know
where to nab 'it,
know how to use the caves, and know when to run.
You always wait for Walman to be takin' up the guard post
'cause you know that sleepin' Walman ain't never fired his gun.
And when he finished speaking, he gave us all a big smile,
jumped up quickly, waddled out, and promptly disappeared.
And somewhere in the distance, The Grendler, he was laughing,
'cause as he left our camp he'd found some stuff that he could
keep.
(Chorus)
You got to know when to shuffle, know when to scuffle,
know when to Grendler dance -- drooling's always fine.
You never drink your blood tubes without checking them for spiders.
There'll be time for Bloody Marys at the end of the line.