Main Differences in Earth 2 "Slash"

Warning:  This parody is rated [TV-MA-L], for Mature Language.  Kids, be kind and explain it to your parents!

Let's face it.  With a 7:00 pm time slot, the show Earth 2 had to be written for a family audience, leaving some adults wanting more in the way of relationships, sex, violence, sex, action, sex, mature themes, and sex.

Of course, that's where fan fiction fills a real need -- especially "slash". And you don't even need writing ability to turn out great slash! Just put two characters together that no-one's ever put together before, preferably in a position described on one of the missing pages of the Kama Sutra, and you're sure to be a hit!  Your audience will be so aroused/grossed out/excited they'll never notice you couldn't pass an English course if it spent two years in your lower intestine!

How does Earth 2 slash differ from the show? Here are some ways:

• Bess and the Grendler trade spit.

• Terrians staffs held high means they're really glad to see you.

• We get to see EVE below the shoulders.

• The Hummer isn't a vehicle, but it still runs on battery power.

• True does not put the Koba in her backpack.  True bags the Koba.

• Reilly materializes in VR in EVE's clothes.

• Gaal materializes in VR in Dr. Frankenfurter's clothes.

• The entire Eden Advance team materializes in VR without any clothes --

• -- (except for Danziger, who is still wearing a tool belt) --

• -- and Walman still does not awaken.

• Someone gooses Baines, and for once it isn't Echo!

• D/D/A/J

• Zero blackmails everyone with the footage of them he's recorded on his sensors.

• Yale's mom was half right. That's why he had to have one eye replaced -- and the hand too.

• Dell Curry broadcasts to Eden Advance on The Spice Channel.

• Elizabeth has a very good reason to be disappointed that Dr. Franklin "can't".

• Alonzo uses that old "oops, forgot my boots" trick to get back in Julia's tent.

• Devon and Danziger practice the canteen incident from Water frequently "just in case the Terrians get them again".  (At least that's what Devon told True ...)

• Sheppard isn't his real name. It's a nickname that has something to do with an affinity for sheep ...

• Katrina: Considering she's been beat silly with the ugly stick, no difference at all.

• The Ulybuggy comes with a Ulybuggywhip.

• Grendlers secrete saliva from every orifice Every means every.

• All of the Terrians are male. 'Nuff said.

• The Terrians go deeper.

• The Mooncross ritual degenerates into just another drunken hot tub party.

• The Kobas just want to sleep with you for two days straight.

• Who ever said Bess was thinking of just one of the men?

• Baines becomes convinced that dead people aren't as bad as he thought.

• Morgan Martin sure as hell wouldn't be eating in VR.

• ... then again ...

• Danziger is looking for his #9 wench.

• BDSM = Baines, Danziger, Solace, Martin

• In A Memory Play, Julia walks in on Morgan and Bess, and discovers that great sex cures even the worst memories.

• A new episode about transgendering: The Boy Who Would Be Terrie Anne King.

• A new episode about hardware: The Story of Zero.

• The title of The Enemy Within takes on a whole new meaning.

• The title of First Contact takes on a whole new meaning.

• At the end of All about EVE, the entire cast moons Warren Littlefield (twice ... once for each moon).

• Uly is the Terrian Queen.

• Baines wasn't locked in the Transrover by himself...

Happy April Fools Day 1998, from the fools at KOBA-TV!